Many of the problems we face originate upstream, yet our efforts to solve them typically begin downstream. The issue of singlehood is a classic example of this problem-solving paradigm.
Issues like singlehood, divorce, teen pregnancy, mental illness, and child delinquency typically originate in the home. Yet, society often addresses these problems by treating the symptoms rather than tackling the underlying causes.
Let’s consider the example of singlehood, the focus of our website. People often attribute their singleness to the difficulty in finding compatible partners, or as they might say, “the right partner.” However, they rarely ask themselves the crucial question: Am I the right partner for someone else?
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Secondly, those who are introspective may realise that they contributed to problems in their relationships. However, they don’t blame themselves; instead, they attribute their issues to external factors, such as the trauma from their parents’ divorce or adverse events from their youth.
While this introspection is a step in the right direction, it still doesn’t address deeper, underlying questions: Why did their parents divorce? Why was there constant quarrelling between their parents? Why was there a lack of love? Why were they raised in a single-parent home? Why was their father absent during their upbringing? Answering these questions can help uncover the root causes of their singleness.
Over the years of interacting with people, I have learned that most people are not malicious; they are simply uninformed. We often underestimate our own knowledge and overestimate what others know. One of my pet peeves is that many people have never visited Switzerland.
Why Switzerland?
Why not America or the UK? Switzerland is the only country where everything works. Travel on a Swiss motorway, and you won’t find a single piece of litter, let alone in the cities. Public transport is punctual, and everything is orderly. In contrast, some people from chaotic countries, where streets resemble dustbins, boast about their nations’ greatness. This stems from a lack of awareness—they have never been to Switzerland and do not realise that such a well-organised country exists, so they accept what they know as the norm.
The lack of awareness about places like Switzerland is common in many societies. Many individuals excel in their professional fields they may be brilliant lawyers, surgeons, scientists, and leaders. However, these same accomplished individuals often lack knowledge about how to be good spouses or parents. For example, even the President of the United States has a son who struggles with drug addiction. It is puzzling how one can achieve the highest office in the land but fail to guide a child into becoming a productive citizen.
How does this happen? Firstly, children do not come with instruction manuals on how to raise them. Secondly, despite the importance of parenting and being a good spouse, these skills are not taught in schools. There are no courses like parenting or spousing 101 in any university curriculum. Being an adult and single didn’t start at age twenty; it began the day you were born.