Managing one marriage can be challenging enough. King Solomon had hundreds. Yet the biblical narrative suggests that, for much of his reign, his household and kingdom were marked by peace (1 Kings 4:24-25). How did he avoid constant domestic turmoil with so many personalities under one roof?
For Afro-Caribbean couples, whether dealing with one spouse or a busy household, King Solomon’s focus on domestic harmony holds valuable lessons. Afro-Caribbean couples today, like those on a Black dating journey, can learn from his wisdom on keeping a peaceful home.
First, King Solomon understood the cost of constant quarreling. He repeated a vivid proverb twice: “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife”. In essence, peace is so precious that a humble, solitary corner is preferable to a lavish home filled with strife.
The principle applies to husbands and wives alike, endless bickering will poison any household. Couples should ask themselves: is this argument worth the tension it brings? Many relationship conflicts from how to squeeze the toothpaste to whose family to visit for Christmas are minor in the big picture. King Solomon’s advice encourages partners to let go of petty grievances for the sake of peace. Pride can make us hold onto the need to be right; wisdom helps us release it to preserve peace.
Second, cultivating a peaceful home requires intentional effort from both partners. Gentle communication, as discussed in King Solomon’s proverb about a soft answer, is key (Proverbs 15:1). This might mean taking a pause during heated moments to pray or breathe before responding. Afro-Caribbean families sometimes involve extended relatives and lively discussions, which can sometimes escalate.
Setting boundaries on heated topics and agreeing on respectful communication norms will help. For example, if finances or in-laws are sensitive issues, a couple can schedule a calm time to discuss them rather than snapping in the moment. Ephesians 4:26 offers wise counsel: “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”, reminding us to address disagreements promptly and not allow resentment to fester overnight.
Third, peace thrives when each person feels heard and valued. King Solomon listened to his people’s disputes with wisdom; surely he had to listen at home as well. Afro-Caribbean couples should practice active listening, truly hearing your significant other’s concerns without interrupting or formulating a rebuttal. Sometimes, simply feeling understood will diffuse a conflict. In contrast, feeling ignored or belittled can turn a small spark into a wildfire of contention.
Tips for a Tranquil Relationship:
- Pick Your Battles: Not every issue needs to become an argument. Distinguish between trivial annoyances and true deal-breakers.
- Prioritise Respect: No matter how emotional a discussion gets, avoid insults, yelling, or bringing up past wrongs. Commit to treating each other with dignity.
- Invite God’s Presence: A home where God is honored is more likely to know peace. Simple practices like praying together or reading a devotional as a couple can enhance a calming, unified atmosphere.
King Solomon’s ability to maintain marital harmony, even in a complex household, reminds Black singles and Afro-Caribbean couples that peace is a choice, supported by wisdom and humility. In today’s world where stress and external pressures abound, a Afro-Caribbean couple that diligently guards the peace in their home will find it to be a refuge. By valuing concord over “winning” arguments, and love over ego, Afro-Caribbean couples can experience the kind of domestic tranquility that King Solomon esteemed, creating a home truly filled with peace.