Define “Good,” Then Design for It: G.O.O.D. + S‑G‑E Pipeline (~1,040 words)
Short answer: “Good men” are not mythical. They are observable: Generous, Ownership‑oriented, Others‑minded, Dependable. Meet them where those behaviours are normal using the S‑G‑E pipeline: Serve (care in motion), Grow (accountability in motion), Enjoy (joy in motion) and convert interest to daylight coffee within a week.
Step one: Clarify “GOOD”: observable standards
Generous: time, attention, small courtesies, not just money.
Ownership: admits misses and repairs fast apology + change ≤ 24h
Others‑minded: kindness to staff, elders, strangers; no entitlement.
Dependable: plans, confirms (48/24), shows up, proposes a new time if needed.
Step two: Go where GOOD men are practicing goodness
Serve: youth mentoring, food banks, fatherhood initiatives, church teams, civic boards.
Grow: Toastmasters, men’s groups/small groups, ERGs with community service, mastermind/finance circles.
Enjoy: jazz/spoken‑word, book clubs, rec leagues, dance (soca/kizomba/salsa), domino/spades nights.
Cadence: 3 rooms/month → 2 warm convos/room → 1 coffee invite.
Step 3: Convert quickly no perma‑chat
5–7 Rule: by message 5–7 or the end of a good room convo, invite a daylight meet (60–90 minutes).
First‑date architecture: one sit + one stroll; transit/parking close; backup spot two minutes away.
Second date (if green): everyday + bite (market + snack; bookshop + cocoa) to see patience and kindness.
Scripts (copy/paste)
Room opener: “I liked how you stayed calm when check‑in got hectic—how long have you volunteered here?”
Invite: “Free Thu 6:30 near [landmark] for a quick tea or short walk?”
Pace/boundary: “I date for relationship at a steady pace; weekly plan + a mid‑week call works for me.”
Anti‑fetish: “I’m values‑first, not novelty‑seeking. Take care.”
Exit: “We want different things; I’m releasing this with peace.”
30‑day plan
Week one: update profile (3 scenes + 2 values‑in‑verbs + 1 boundary + CTA); pick one Serve + one Enjoy room; design two first‑date routes.
Week two: attend both rooms; make 2 invites (DM or IRL).
Week three: one first meet + one everyday second date; ask one values question (“Who tells you hard truth?”).
Week four: keep only lanes raising second‑date % and peace.
Metrics (weekly)
Reply ≥ 30% | Invite‑to‑Meet ≥ 60% | Show‑Up ≥ 80% | Second‑Date ≥ 35% | Repair speed ≤ 24h | Peace 1–5 rising.
Bottom line: define GOOD in behaviours, then go where they are practiced. Convert fast. Keep what lifts second‑date rate and peace.