Sofia found herself checking her dating apps first thing in the morning, throughout the day, and last thing before bed. What started as excitement to find a match had turned into an almost compulsive routine. She had swipe mindlessly, even when she was not in the mood to chat and felt her anxiety spike with every notification (or lack thereof). One Sunday, after a particularly discouraging week, Sofia realized she had not gone a single day without dating app stress in months. She decided to take a break. She posted a quick note on her profile that she was “on hiatus,” then deleted the apps from her phone for the next few weeks. Instead of swiping, she read books, spent time with friends, and focused on her workouts. The mental relief was immediate. When she eventually returned to the apps, she set strict boundaries: no checking during work hours, and a 9 PM cutoff so she could wind down device free. Dating felt healthier and happier once she regained control of her time and energy.
Knowing when to step back is a crucial dating skill. In a survey, 78% of dating app users reported feeling emotionally exhausted by online dating at least occasionally. It is no wonder the constant stream of profiles and conversations can be overwhelming. That is why setting boundaries and taking periodic breaks is not defeat; it’s self care. Just as you’d take a vacation from a demanding job, a break from dating can recharge you and prevent burnout (indeed, many daters do the “delete and return later” cycle as a normal part of the process).
Healthy Dating App Habits:
- Set Time Limits: Decide on specific times or a time limit per day for checking apps, rather than being always on call. For example, you might browse for 30 minutes in the evening and otherwise keep your phone notifications off.
- Recognize Burnout Signs: If you catch yourself feeling dread or numbness when opening the app, or swiping when you are bored rather than interested, those are signs you might need a breather.
- Take Tech Breaks: Do not be afraid to pause your profile or delete the app for a while. You can always come back refreshed. Use that time to indulge in activities that boost your mood and confidence, unrelated to dating.
Call to Action: Ask yourself honestly is dating feeling like a chore right now? If yes, consider this permission to log off for a bit or redraw your boundaries. Taking care of your mental and emotional wellbeing will make you a stronger, happier dater when you are ready to jump back in. Sometimes, the best way to move forward is to pause, breathe, and reset.
Sources: mentorresearch.org, psychologytoday.com