Success in love often comes with twists and turns. Let dive into two mini success stories of Black professionals who found lasting love through different avenues, and unpack the lessons hidden in their journeys. You might just find a nugget of wisdom for your own path.
Story 1: From App Frustration to Algorithmic Fate Galen Journey
Galen, a thirty three year-old software engineer, had almost sworn off dating apps. As a Nigerian American in a mostly white city, he often felt overlooked on mainstream apps. But he decided to give Coffee Meets Bagel one last shot after reading that its algorithm tried to deliver more curated matches daily. One day, the app served him Alicia, a 30 year old Black attorney who had also felt jaded with swiping. They matched, chatted about their shared experience as Black professionals (turns out they both were the only Black person in their teams at work, which gave them an instant bond), and met for a walk in the park.
The connection was immediate easy laughter, deep conversation. Within a year, they were engaged. At their wedding, Galen joked that he almost deleted the app that delivered his wife the very next day.
Lessons Learned:
- Do not Count Yourself Out: Galen story reminds us that just because you’ve had lackluster results on apps, the next match could change everything. He chose an app with a slower, more curated approach which worked better for him than rapid fire swiping. Maybe the lesson is to find the platform that suits your style quality over quantity if that is your thing.
- Shared Experiences Matter: A big part of Galen and Alicia click was understanding each other life as Black professionals. That does not mean you must have the same job or background as a partner, but it highlights that when someone “gets” the challenges you face, it creates intimacy. Seek partners who show empathy for your experiences.
- Stay Open and Positive: Galen admitted he went into that date optimistic, instead of assuming it had been another flop. Bringing a fresh, hopeful mindset (even if it takes a pep talk to self) can genuinely change how you present and connect.
Story 2: Matchmaker Magic Patrice Leap of Faith
Patrice, a forty year old healthcare executive, had built an incredible career but felt unfulfilled coming home to an empty apartment. She tried the apps and even speed dating events, but nothing stuck. Some suggested she was “too picky” or “intimidating” (labels strong Black women hear too often). Patrice decided to invest in a Black matchmaker who was gaining buzz.
Her matchmaker introduced her to Malik, a 42 year old nonprofit director, with the preface: “I think you two share a purpose.” Skeptical but curious, Patrice met Malik for a dinner. They discovered both are deeply passionate about community uplift. Patrice mentors young women in STEM; Malik runs a youth center. Values aligned. There was chemistry, but also a sense of ease, as if they had been friends forever. Patrice later said what impressed her was Malik kindness and how he listened qualities her matchmaker assured her existed, despite Patrice doubting “those kinds of men” were out there.
Two years later, Patrice and Malik married in a ceremony that blended her Caribbean heritage and his Southern roots. In attendance was their matchmaker, whom they thanked in their vows.
Lessons Learned:
- Know When to Seek Help: Patrice decision to try a matchmaker underscores that it is okay to seek assistance in love, just like you would in career (mentors, headhunters) or health (trainers, doctors). It does not mean you are inadequate; it means you are proactive. She realized she needed a tailored approach and got exactly that.
- Define Your Core Values: The matchmaker succeeded largely because Patrice had clarity on her values (giving back, family, faith) and was persuaded to focus on those over superficial traits. When Malik showed up not fitting her “usual type” physically, she gave it a chance because he aligned where it truly mattered. Lo and behold, attraction followed as she got to know his heart.
- Embrace the Unconventional: Patrice had hesitations the stigma of “needing a matchmaker” or the worry of cost. But stepping outside her comfort zone paid off. Your love story might not look how you imagined (maybe you thought you had meet in college or through a friend), but it could be better. Do not box yourself in.
Key Takeaways from Both Stories
- Resilience is Key: Both individuals had moments of disillusionment but persisted. Finding love often requires resilience. It is okay to take breaks and tend to your mental health, but as these stories show, you usually must get back in the game to win it.
- Self Reflection Leads to Growth: Galen changed app strategies; Patrice examined her priorities. If something is not working, reflect on why. Are you chasing the wrong type? Are there internal fears (commitment, vulnerability) unconsciously sabotaging you? Growth often attracts great partners.
- External Voices, Internal Choices: Both had naysayers or societal pressures Galen feeling invisible, Patrice being told she is intimidating. They chose not to internalize these narratives. They defined their own journey. As a Black professional, you might hear “Black women do not find partners as easily” or “Black men have too many options,” etc. but that is noise. Your story is yours to write, not a statistic.
Ending on a note of hope: These success stories are not fairy tales; they are real people who faced challenges yet found love that complements and elevates them. Let them inspire you to believe that your person is out there perhaps one more swipe away, or maybe waiting in a matchmaker Rolodex and with a bit of strategy, openness, and perseverance, you will write your own success story.
Call to Action: Feeling inspired? Start scripting your success story with our Relationship Readiness Guide. It includes prompts to reflect on your values, past patterns, and future goals in love the same kind of introspection our success stories did. Use it as a roadmap to get you closer to your happy ending. Your love success story could be the next one we celebrate