Jason matched with someone who caught his eye, but his opening message was the same old “Hey, how is it going?” Predictably, he got no reply. Meanwhile, his friend Clara tried a different approach. When she matched with a fellow foodie, she opened with a light joke about a recipe he mentioned in his profile. He responded within minutes, and soon they were trading restaurant recommendations and making plans.
The difference? Personalisation and effort. In the world of online dating, a bland one-liner often gets lost in the shuffle. On many apps, men significantly outnumber women (globally about 62% of users are male, and some platforms have a 3:1 male to female ratio). That means popular users, especially women, can get flooded with messages. In fact, over half of women on dating apps report feeling overwhelmed by the number of messages they receive. To stand out, your first message needs to show genuine interest and curiosity about the other person.
Smart First Message Tips:
- Mention Something Specific: Look at their profile and pick one detail to ask about or compliment. (E.g. “I see you love hiking have you tackled any good trails lately?”)
- Keep It Friendly and Curious: A little humour or an open ended question works wonders. Show enthusiasm without overdoing it. For example, reference a shared interest or ask a thoughtful question that cannot be answered with just “yes” or “no.”
- Avoid Generic Openers: Steer clear of just “hi” or comments solely about looks. A unique message is far more likely to spark a conversation.
Call to Action: Next time you match with someone, skip the generic greeting. Take an extra minute to craft a message that shows you paid attention to their profile. You will increase your chances of getting a response and starting a conversation that could lead to an amazing connection.
Sources: mentorresearch.org