Monique and James story could be the script of a Black love film. When they met, both were intentional daters in their late 30s, and both had marriage at the top of their wish list. Their courtship was not rushed, but it was focused, every step building toward a future together. Two years from their first meeting, Monique and James stood under an arch of blush roses and jumped the broom as their loved ones cheered. Dating with marriage in mind truly paid off for them, and their journey offers lessons for others.
A Strong Start Grounded in Honesty: From their first coffee date, Monique and James were refreshingly honest. Monique opened that she was dating to find a life partner and was not interested in situationships. James, having had similar experiences of lost time, appreciated her candour and echoed the sentiment. That mutual transparency created a safe space. In fact, research has found that Black couples who communicate intentions clearly tend to develop deeper commitment faster. For Monique and James, knowing they were on the same page allowed their relationship to progress without the usual ambiguities. They did not have to play it cool or coy about wanting marriage; instead, they bonded over it, sharing what a healthy marriage meant to them.
Navigating Challenges as a Team: No relationship path is without bumps. What is inspiring about Monique and James is how they handled challenges with a marriage oriented mindset. When James faced a sudden job relocation possibility, they discussed it as a team, how this might affect us, and how we could make it work. They sought advice from James parents, who had done long distance in the early years of their marriage. That problem solving approach, treating each other as life partners even before a ring, was a direct outcome of their intentional dating style. Many Black couples find that adopting a “team” mentality early, something often seen in marriage, strengthens their resolve to get to marriage. Monique and James agreed that any issue that arose while dating was a practice run for how they would tackle issues in married life.
Community Blessings: One touching element of their story was the way their community recognised and supported their intentional love. At their engagement party, Monique grandmother pulled them aside and said, “We have been praying for this.” Both families had seen them weather lesser relationships and were overjoyed to see them find each other. In many Black love stories, there is a theme of community uplift. When a couple comes together beautifully, it is a win for everyone. Monique and James wedding was not just their celebration; it felt like a celebration of Black love that endured and triumphed.
Dating with marriage as the goal can sometimes feel lonely or frustrating, especially when it seems like most people are on a different wavelength. But stories like Monique and James show that it is worth it. When it pays off, it results in a partnership that is built on clarity, shared purpose, and deep respect. If you are on that journey, keep the faith. Your black love story might be unfolding even now, quietly and intentionally, and one day you will have the chance to shout it from the rooftops. Until then, stay true to what you are looking for and surround yourself with people who believe in Black love. And remember, our community is rich with examples and elders who prove that love and marriage are attainable. If you are ready to create your own success story. Join our Relationship Readiness Masterclass, let make sure you have all the tools to write the love story you have dreamed about.