If you want a strong, happy relationship, you need to know what you’re really looking for in a partner beyond the surface. That’s where a core values check comes in. Think of it as figuring out your “must-haves” at the deepest level. They’re about character and life philosophy. Identifying these will help you recognize a truly compatible partner when you meet one – and save you from getting serious with someone who isn’t a match.How do you pinpoint your core values in a partner? Try this exercise:Reflect on past experiences: Think about past relationships or dates, what traits in the other person made you feel comfortable and secure? What traits caused friction or heartbreak?For example, maybe you felt at ease with someone very honest, and you struggled with someone who was unreliable. Jot these down.Name your top values: From that reflection, pick out the values that matter most to you. Common ones might be trustworthiness, family orientation, ambition, kindness, faith, financial responsibility, or a love of learning. Be honest with yourself here. It is okay if your list is unique.Rank them and narrow it down: Try to come up with your top three to five core values that you absolutely need in a partner. These are your non-negotiables. If someone lacks these, it is likely a deal-breaker for a long-term relationship.Once you have your short list, keep it in mind as you date. You don’t need to interrogate anyone or bring out your list on a first date but you can ask questions and observe. If faith is a top value, notice whether they talk about their spiritual life or ask about yours. If helping others is big for you, see if they volunteer or treat people around them with compassion. Over time, you will get a sense if their values align with yours.On a black dating site profile, you might spot clues too. Perhaps they mention their family, their career passion, or community work, hinting at the values they hold.Above all, knowing what truly matters to you will give you confidence. You won’t be as easily swayed by a pretty face or smooth talk if you know they don’t check the big boxes.Stay true to what you value, and you will attract someone who appreciates those same values. In the meantime, keep working on being the best version of yourself see Becoming “The One” Before Finding “The One” for some inspiration on self-improvement. The combination of personal development and clear values is powerful in drawing the right partner into your life.Ready to put this into practice? Our Relationship Readiness Masterclass dives deeper into identifying values and aligning your dating approach with what truly matters. Knowing your core values and sticking to them is one of the smartest moves you can make on the road to a lasting relationship.Relationship Readiness Mini MasterclassTake the first step towards a fulfilling relationship. Our Relationship Readiness Mini Masterclass is a high-impact introduction to building healthy relationship habits and skills, tailored for the Afro-Caribbean community. Sign Up Now to start building the relationship you deserve.Read More