Nina was three months into her matchmaking journey and starting to feel a little discouraged. She had met two matches so far: one was pleasant but no spark, the other ended up canceling their second date and fading out. In the past, this might have been the point where Nina threw up her hands and declared, “Dating just isn’t for me!” But this time, she had her matchmaker and the process to lean on. In a check in call, her matchmaker reminded her that the path to love is often a winding one, and every introduction is progress, not failure. They tweaked her profile a bit (adding that she is an animal lover, since the first guy was not pet friendly and that mattered to her) and the matchmaker assured her they were closing in on a promising match next. Sure enough, a few weeks later, Nina met Aaron through the service and things finally clicked.
The slogan “trust the process” might sound cliché, but in matchmaking (and really all dating), patience and positivity truly can be your secret weapons. Here is why and how:
- Good matches take time: Unlike ordering a product online, you can’t just click “true love” and have it delivered in 2 days. Even with expert help, finding the right person is a mix of timing, luck, and effort. Matchmakers are calibrating a lot of factors to get it right it is normal to meet a few “maybes” before the “yes.” Reminding yourself of this reality can curb the urge to quit too soon. Every date that is not the one is still valuable; it is refining your search. Keep in mind that success stories often involve persistence. If you expect instantaneous results, you might give up right before the breakthrough. Nina learned to see each introduction not as “wasting time” but as necessary steps, almost like practice for when the real deal came along.
- Maintaining positivity makes you more attractive: It is tough to stay upbeat when you face disappointment, but doing so noticeably affects the impression you give. If you become cynical or bitter (“There are no good ones left” or “This will never work”), that vibe can seep into your interactions with new matches. On the flip side, if you approach each new match with a hopeful, open attitude seeing it as a fresh opportunity you are more likely to connect. People are drawn to positivity. Aaron later told Nina that what caught his attention was how warm and positive her demeanor was, even when she mentioned previous dating struggles; she laughed about them rather than ranted. That told him she was resilient and pleasant to be around.
- Learn and adapt, don’t dwell and despair: After each date or match, focus on what you can learn. Maybe you discovered that a certain trait (like intellectual curiosity or a shared hobby) actually mattered more to you than you thought great, communicate that to your matchmaker for future matches. Or maybe you realized you were a bit closed off on the date because you were nervous. Rather than beating yourself up, note it and think of ways to ease your nerves next time (maybe do a calming ritual beforehand, or opt for a more relaxed first date activity). Adopting a mindset of continuous improvement turns what could be negative experiences into constructive ones. This keeps you in a forward moving headspace rather than stuck in regret.
- Lean on your support system (including your matchmaker): That is part of trusting the process too remembering you are not alone in it. Your matchmaker is invested in your success; keep communication open with them. Share your feelings, even frustrations, so they can help motivate and adjust strategies. Also talk to friends or family who are supportive. Sometimes just voicing “Ugh, I am feeling a bit hopeless” to a friend and hearing them say “Hang in there, you have got so much to offer!” can bolster your spirits. Nina found that joining a small group of other clients (her matchmaking firm hosted a monthly Zoom for singles to chat about their experiences) helped normalize the ups and downs. They cheered each other on.
- Celebrate small victories: Did you go on a date and feel more confident than the last time? High five! Did you assert what you are looking for more clearly to your matchmaker? That’s progress! Maybe an introduction did not lead to romance, but you made a new friend or learned a new restaurant not a total loss, right? By acknowledging these positives, you keep your morale up. The journey to love is not just about the destination; it is also about personal growth and experiences along the way. When you finally do find your person, you will look back and see how each step, even the ones that felt like missteps, led you there.
Nina patience and positive approach paid off. With Aaron, things moved steadily and blossomed into a loving relationship. She often tells people that had she bailed earlier or carried a negative cloud into her date with him, it might have gone differently. By staying the course and keeping faith in the process (and herself), she opened the door when opportunity knocked.
Call to Action: Wherever you are in your dating or matchmaking journey, take a moment to reset your mindset. Are you feeling jaded? Try writing down 3 hopeful affirmations like, “My match is out there looking for me too,” or “I am becoming a better partner through this process.” If you have been impatient, maybe commit to giving it another certain number of introductions or another few months with a fresh attitude. Trusting the process is not always easy, but it is a trust in yourself as well that you are worthy of love and that with perseverance, you will find it. Keep your head up, heart open, and let the journey unfold. The results may surprise you!