In the Black community, we often hear elders say, “Date with intention, not just for recreation.” This is sage advice, especially for those who view dating as a path to marriage. But what does “dating with intention” look like in practice? Here are some tips tailored for Black singles who are serious about marrying and want to lay the groundwork for a successful union:Know Your Non Negotiables: Before you even begin, clarify your core values and must haves. Is faith a cornerstone of your future marriage? Is having children a top priority? Recognise which values are deal breakers. Black singles who identify their non negotiables tend to navigate dating more efficiently because they can quickly determine if someone is on the same page. Keep the list of must have focused on values and life goals (kindness, commitment, religion, desire for family) rather than superficial traits.Communicate Your Intentions Openly: It might feel vulnerable, but let potential partners know early that you are seeking a long term commitment. This does not mean proposing on date two; it just means you frame your dating approach honestly. For example, mentioning “I am looking for a serious relationship” in your profile or early conversations can filter out those who are also dating with purpose. It sets a tone. According to one survey, 72% of daters appreciate clarity in what the other person is seeking, as it saves time and aligns expectations.Pace Yourself, it is not a Race: Dating with intention is sometimes mistaken as rushing. It is about the quality of the connection, not speed. Take time to truly get to know the person you are dating. Ask meaningful questions and listen to the answers. How do they handle conflict? What are their views on financial responsibility in a marriage? Black couples that openly discuss these topics while dating build a stronger foundation for marriage. Remember that intention also means intentionally building friendship and trust, key ingredients for any healthy marriage.Involve Your Community Wisely: In Black culture, community input can be a double edged sword. On one hand, the support of family and friends can strengthen a budding relationship (everyone loves a partner that the family adores). On the other hand, too many opinions can cloud your own judgment. The tip here is to involve your trusted circle in a way that helps, not hinders. Maybe introduce your significant other to a couple you admire (like a mentor or happily married cousin) to glean insights and get feedback on your dynamic. At the same time, set boundaries if needed; not every cousin needs to weigh in on your love life.Seek Guidance and Keep Learning: Consider resources that help you grow in your understanding of relationships. This could be premarital counselling (even before a proposal!), relationship workshops at a Black owned therapy practice, or books/podcasts about Black love and marriage. Dating with intention also means preparing yourself to be a good partner. Educate yourself on healthy communication, conflict resolution, and the unique challenges Black couples can face (from external stresses to generational patterns). Knowledge is power.Dating with the goal of marriage is not always easy, but it is deeply rewarding. By following these tips, you are more likely to attract and recognise a partner who shares your vision of the future. Take it from those who have walked the path, being intentionally transformed in their love lives. So, date like your future marriage depends on it, because in many ways, it does. And if you want personalised help on this journey, remember that you do not have to do it alone. Join our Relationship Readiness Masterclass for guidance on how to date deliberately and build the marriage you’ve been dreaming of.Relationship Readiness Mini MasterclassTake the first step towards a fulfilling relationship. Our Relationship Readiness Mini Masterclass is a high-impact introduction to building healthy relationship habits and skills, tailored for the Afro-Caribbean community. Sign Up Now to start building the relationship you deserve.Read More