On a rainy Wednesday night, Priya sat on her couch, staring at two things: her phone, which displayed yet another disappointing dating app conversation (“U up?” at 11 pm, from a guy she had not even met yet), and an email from a matchmaking service she had consulted, summarizing a potential match they had in mind for her. The contrast was stark. In the app, it felt like she was just another face in an endless deck of cards, where superficial judgments reigned. In the email, there was a detailed introduction to a man named Alex, who shared several of her interests, and importantly, seemed genuinely serious about finding a relationship. Priya thought about the past year: countless swipes yielding a handful of mediocre dates, feeling like only ~9% of her app matches led to anything meaningful (a figure that, as she later read, aligns with general dating app success rates). Meanwhile, she remembered her consultation with the matchmaker, how she saw and heard she felt. It was becoming clear why many say matchmaking has a higher success rate, some cite as high as 70-80% compared to the shot-in-the-dark nature of apps.
Here is why the personal touch of matchmaking often beats the impersonal swipe culture of dating apps:
- Human insight vs. algorithms: Dating apps largely rely on algorithms and your swiping behaviour to suggest matches. They know what pictures you linger on, but they do not truly know you. Matchmakers, on the other hand, take time to get to know the person behind the profile. They use intuition and experience to pair people who might complement each other in deeper ways (values, personality, life goals), things an algorithm might not capture. Priya felt that difference; her matchmaker remembered she mentioned loving jazz music and later introduced her to Alex specifically because he was a musician who played at a jazz bar, a detail far more nuanced than “25, lives within 10 miles.”
- Accountability and effort: Let’s face it, the low effort culture on apps (like that “U up?” message) can be draining. If something does not click immediately, people ghost or move on because there are a thousand more profiles in their pocket. With a matchmaker, there is a sense of accountability. Both parties are typically clients or at least invested in the process, so they tend to approach dates with more seriousness and respect. You are not likely to get stood up or ghosted after a matchmaker date; it still can happen, but it is far less common when individuals know there is a professional in the loop. This often leads to better first dates, where both people come prepared to genuinely engage, rather than treating it as a casual meet-up.
- Curated matches, not endless options: Paradoxically, having too many options (as on apps) can leave you single. It is the paradox of choice that people keep thinking someone better might be one swipe away. Matchmaking streamlines options to those who have real potential, which encourages you to give those matches a fair chance. Priya admitted that on apps, she sometimes dismissed great guys for trivial reasons (he likes pineapple on pizza, ew, left swipe). In matchmaking, she could not just “swipe” Alex away for a silly reason; instead, she met him with an open mind because he came recommended with solid rationale. That gave her a chance to discover his great qualities which might not have popped on a quick swipe judgment.
- Emphasis on compatibility, not just attraction: Apps are a lot about quick attraction, do I find this person cute right now? Matchmaking certainly considers physical preferences, but there is a heavier emphasis on long-term compatibility. Matchmakers might consider education, family background, religion, lifestyle, and personal values that align with yours. For people with specific cultural or religious preferences, this is especially valuable. The result is often dates where you find it easy to talk and connect, because you are not starting from scratch; you already know you have key things in common.
- Emotional support through the process: Another unsung benefit: matchmakers often provide a form of emotional support. Priya’s matchmaker checked in on her after her dates, helping her interpret signs and encouraging her when she felt disheartened. Dating apps certainly do not cheer you on or help you reflect when an app date goes poorly; you are left to pick up the emotional pieces alone. Having a guide who actually wants you to succeed can make a huge difference in staying positive and motivated.
It is not that dating apps are bad; many people do find love through them. But the personal touch of matchmaking offers an antidote to some of the worst parts of app dating: the flakiness, the shallow interactions, the overwhelm. Priya did go on to meet Alex, and they had a wonderful first date listening to live jazz (of course!) and strolling under the city lights afterwards. She remarked how different it felt from her app dates, more like meeting through a friend who knew them both well. They both felt a certain ease and intention that’s often missing in the swipe scene.
Call to Action: If you have only ever tried swiping and it has left you feeling disconnected, consider adding a personal touch to your dating journey. That might mean consulting a matchmaker or even asking friends/family to set you up (old school, but it works!). Notice the difference when a human hand, not a computer, plays Cupid. You might find that the quality of connections improves when someone who gets people is guiding the process. Dating should not just be a numbers game; sometimes, it is about that one right connection, and a personal approach might lead you there faster.