King Solomon’s legendary wisdom did not make him immune to mistakes, especially in his marital life. According to the Biblical corpus, as King Solomon aged, “his wives turned his heart after other gods”. He allowed his devotion to God to take a backseat to pleasing his wives. This led to personal and national decline.
Afro-Caribbean couples and singles can take heed: no romantic relationship should replace or compromise your relationship with God. For Afro-Caribbean believers navigating Black dating for marriage, King Solomon’s downfall is a sober reminder to keep first things first.
One mistake to avoid is spiritual compromise. King Solomon thought marrying women of different faiths would not affect him, but over time, it eroded his loyalty to God. In a contemporary context, this might look like dating someone who doesn’t share your faith and hoping it won’t matter, or staying silent about your beliefs to avoid conflict.
But when we dim our light to appease a partner, we risk losing ourselves and our blessings. If you meet someone through an Afro-Caribbean dating site who pressures you to skip church, pray less, or abandon your values, that is a red flag. True love will never ask you to betray your belief.
Another pitfall is making an idol of the relationship itself. King Solomon built altars for his wives’ gods, essentially prioritising his marriages over obedience to God. Today, a Afro-Caribban couple might idolise each other or the idea of being in love, putting their relationship on a pedestal above all else.
This can lead to unhealthy codependence or isolation from community. For example, if a Afro-Caribbean couple withdraws from church and community to focus only on themselves, their love may become self-centered. Jesus taught, “seek first the kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33). Even in dating or marriage, God’s purposes come first. When God is first, everything else, including our relationship falls into its proper place.
King Solomon’s experience also highlights the danger of unchecked desires. His hundreds of wives and concubines (1 Kings 11:3) suggest he was never satisfied, always looking for the next alliance or attraction. In Black dating, this could be analogous to serial relationships without intent, or indulging in flirtations outside of one’s commitment.
To avoid King Solomon’s error, cultivate contentment and fidelity. Be grateful for the partner you have and resist the “grass is greener” trap. Guard your eyes and heart from temptations (Job 31:1). No number of new flings can substitute for the fulfillment of a committed.
How do we keep God first in relationship? Make time for spiritual practices together, pray as a couple, read Scripture, and serve others. Hold each other accountable and encourage each other’s faith.
In decision-making, ask, “Are we honouring God with this choice?” Whether it is setting physical boundaries while dating or deciding on finances as newlyweds, invite God’s input through prayer. Also, surround yourselves with a faith community for guidance and support, so you are not an isolated island.
By learning from King Solomon’s mistakes, Black singles and couples can avoid needless heartache. A partner should complement your faith, not compete with it. When God remains the ultimate priority, He blesses the relationship in ways that superficial charm or worldly success cannot. Keep God first, and everything else including relationship will align in time.