Black Dating: Swipe Less, Date More: Quality Over Quantity

Zoe used to treat dating apps like a numbers game. She would swipe right on dozens of people each day and juggle multiple chat threads, thinking this approach would increase her odds of finding someone special. Instead, she found herself exhausted and emotionally detached. Conversations stayed superficial, and first dates blurred together. Realising that “more” was not leading to “better,” Zoe tried a new strategy. She limited herself to focusing on just a match or two at a time, ones where she genuinely felt a spark of interest. She put effort into truly getting to know those few people. Immediately, she noticed deeper connections forming. One of those matches, a guy named Ben, appreciated that she was so present and engaged. He confessed he had been feeling like just another face in a crowd of matches until Zoe came along. That openness led to a great relationship that neither might have discovered amidst endless swiping.

Dating apps offer an endless buffet of options, but having too many choices can backfire. It is easy to fall into a cycle of swiping for the dopamine rush of a new match, while meaningful opportunities slip through the cracks. Many daters report feeling that the abundance of options makes them less satisfied or more indecisive. The antidote? Slow down. By prioritising quality interactions over quantity, you give promising connections the attention they deserve.

How to Embrace Quality Over Quantity:

  • Set a Match Limit: Consider capping the number of concurrent conversations you have. It is better to carry a real conversation with two people than to send generic “how are you” messages to ten.
  • Be Selective and Intentional: Instead of swiping on everyone remotely attractive, read profiles and swipe “yes” on people who truly catch your interest. Write a tailored message to those matches to kick things off sincerely.
  • Give It a Real Chance: Do not rush to dump a match at the first minor lull if there was initial promise. Patience can reveal compatibility over time. Conversely, if you know it is not a fit, politely close it out so you can focus elsewhere without guilt.

Call to Action: This week, challenge yourself to swipe a little less. Choose one person you have matched with and invest more effort in getting to know them. Ask more questions, really listen, and see where it goes. By trimming the excess, you might just uncover a connection that is waiting for the space to grow.

Sources: datingnews.com