Why Responsibility in Relationships Changes Everything
There is a conversation that happens after every relationship ends. It sounds like this. “They were not ready.” “They could not commit.” “They had too much baggage.” “They did not appreciate what they had.” Notice the pronoun. It is always “they.” I have had hundreds of these conversations. After an Audit call, after a Masterclass, […]
Why Discipline in Relationships Matters More Than Most People Realise
Most people believe that lasting love is sustained by passion. By chemistry. By that feeling you had in the first six months — the butterflies, the longing, the sense that you had found something rare. Here is the uncomfortable truth that nobody told you at the beginning: that feeling fades in every relationship on earth. […]
Thinking About a Matchmaker? Start Here
https://youtu.be/g9gFjkwOVLA When you’re tired of bad dates, hiring a matchmaker sounds like genius. “Let someone else filter.”“Let someone else search.” And we agree: a good matchmaker can save you time and introduce you to quality people. But here’s what no brochure says: If you hand a matchmaker your power, you can: Relax your own discernment, Assume “they’ve […]
Esther Perel On Infidelity
https://youtu.be/Z7GOz_TiSAgYou hear Esther Perel say: “Affairs are not always about a lack of love—they can be about a lack of self.” It’s insightful. It makes you think. Cheating has roots: disconnection, deadness, identity crises. Couples who want to rebuild need to understand those roots. But for Black partners already blamed for everything, nuance can become gaslighting if […]
Esther Peral On Desire
https://youtu.be/Z7GOz_TiSAgYou hear Esther Perel say: “Love wants closeness, desire needs distance.” And you think, “That explains so much.” She’s right that: Domestic grind can kill desire, Curiosity and play keep relationships alive. But as a Black professional, you’re already living with risk—racism, finances, family. You don’t just need excitement. You need safety and aliveness, not one […]
Dating Websites Give You Options, Not Answers
On dating websites, there’s always another profile. New match. New message. New “hey stranger.” It feels like abundance—but is it really? We agree: dating websites can be useful. They: Expand your pool, Show you other serious singles, Give you a way to state what you want. But more faces don’t equal more clarity. Without a strategy, […]
Why Dating Tips for Singles Aren’t Enough
https://youtu.be/KVmhP6Xv7y8You’ve heard all the dating tips for singles: “Be yourself.” “Don’t be too available.” “Keep an open mind.” Cute. But here’s the truth—those dating tips for singles were not written with you in mind: a Black professional with a mission, responsibilities, and a legacy to build. You don’t just need to “be yourself.” You need to […]
Before You Pay for Matchmaking Services, Ask This
You’re thinking about matchmaking services. You’re tired. You’re busy. You’re done with apps. It makes sense. Good matchmaking services can: Save time, Offer discretion, Introduce you to serious people. But before you hand over thousands, ask: Do they care about my readiness—or just my fee? Do they understand Black/Afro-Caribbean life, or will I spend time explaining […]
Esther Perel On Fantasises
Esther Perel says our fantasies are like an X-ray of our erotic selves. For once, someone is telling you: “Don’t judge; get curious.” Shame suffocates desire. Fantasy can help couples understand what turns them on. But not every fantasy is a friend. For trauma survivors, some fantasies are wounds in costume. For stressed Black professionals, […]
Esther Peral On Desire
You hear Esther Perel say: “Love wants closeness, desire needs distance.” And you think, “That explains so much.” She’s right that: Domestic grind can kill desire, Curiosity and play keep relationships alive. But as a Black professional, you’re already living with risk—racism, finances, family. You don’t just need excitement. You need safety and aliveness, not one […]